People get here by various means. Most of you I know personally, but some of you are strangers who have stumbled upon my little blog while merrily conducting business on the Internet.

Some of you Google very odd things.

However, when I noticed this particular referer, I must say I was rather, well, touched.

"How to Give Good Head"

I'm only on page 6, but still, it's nice to know that the J-Spot and "Good Head" are considered to be in the same Google-sphere.

Uhm, in case you didn't find what you were looking for, though, here are some tips:

1. NEVER, EVER USE TEETH UNLESS HE TELL YOU TO.
2. Always brush your teeth, before and after.
3. Let your hand do most of the work, if you want it to last long.
4. Don't be afraid of the balls: They are slippery little suckers, so it'll take some practise.
5. The occasional moan or giggle works wonders, as does the pornstar-esque look up, with a mouthful of cock. Guys dig it.
6. Use your tits.
7. Try, but not too hard to deep throat. Even if you can't do it, he'll appreciate the effort.
8. If all else fails, Jesus Christ, just ask him.
   
9. Try giving head in different positions, like on your side.
10. Again, no teeth, unless he likes it. (I have to repeat this. My first BJ was in the backseat of a Dodge, and I had read once in Cosmo that some guys like a little teeth grazing. Sorry, Aaron.)

I am having a particularly grumpy day, inexplicably, but 2 good things have happened today:

1) I got a job interview.
2) I found the mysterious blogger who linked to me, then disappeared. Her blog is called A Running Commentary, and I will soon side-bar her, but I have neither the time nor the inclination at this present moment. ER is gone, and I have a crush on Neela.

Note: Yes, I know I am lucky to have a place to say, rent free, with my own room, cable, washroom, etc, etc, etc. However, the current living situation, compared to my ideal living situation (MW and I together, somewhere, on our own) leaves a lot to be desired. Let the bitch begin:

1. Having to hear my parents do it every Friday night. Oh. My. God. Ugh.
   
2. Being held accountable for every move made outside the house.
3. The pressure I feel having to maintain the equilibrium between my relationship with my parents, and my relationship with MW on a daily basis.
4. The constant, incessant questioning of my job search, MW's job search, and, most awful, our relationship on a daily basis, by everyone in the house, except for MW, thank god.
   
5. My amplified insecurities, because I feel like everyone is watching me/us.
6. The little, stupid, retarded things that really don't bother me, but that bother my mother so I nevertheless have to address them.
   
7. The disciplining of my cat. It's my job, and possibly MWs.
   
8. The guilt I feel for feeling like this.
9. Feeling like absolute fucking GARBAGE all week, and no one really accomodating me, or people I'm in a bad mood (okay, this doesn't really have anything to do with living at home, exactly, but it's something I want to complain about, and I might as well put it all in one place).
   
10. Again, feeling guilty about feeling like this when some of other friends are going through/have gone through much more than I recently.
11. Having a decreased appetite for orgasms (not sex, mind you, but I never feel like I need to get off, which is really the best part).
12. Daily routines.
    
13. How EVERYTIME I AM IN THE SHOWER SOME MOTHERFUCKER FLUSHES THE TOILET UPSTAIRS, THEREBY BURNING THE FLESH OFF MY BONES AND OH MY GOD IF IT HAPPENS ONE MORE TIME I WILL RUN UPSTAIRS AND GRAB THE PERSON AND SHOVE THEIR HEAD UNDER THE BOILING HOT WATER FOR AT LEAST 5 MINUTES.
14. I am expected to be home for suppertime, and if I'm going to be there, I need an excuse.
15. I feel like a jerk for expecting the same from MW, I know it's unfair.
16. Speaking of jerkiness. MW can be an arse. SO CAN I. There's nothing wrong with that, except I would rather we had discovered this on our own, rather than here, where we have an audience, where they assume any small tension means our relationship is in question, though this is from the same people who argue more than anyone I know. I love MW, but no, I know he's not perfect, and again, NEITHER AM I.
    
17. Jeez.
18. Making almost no long distance phone calls anymore, as everytime I get on the phone, I get reminded of our long distance plan.
    
19. Getting woken up 2 minutes before my alarm goes off.
    

.... as Mr. Wonderful was quoted as saying last night, as we made our way into the movie theatre.

Why didn't I believe him? I don't know... I guess I thought he was just being a curmugeon. Turns out, he was right. Had I read any of these reviews, I would have learned that The Ring Two is a boring, long, over-dramatic piece of shiz-nit.

But, it was a night out.

In other news, my gastro-intenstinal systems has gathered forces with my colon on a revolt against my body. Ugh. For the first time in my life, I had to buy Immodium, and yeh! by boyfriend was with me. How embarrassing. For the rest of the night, he would randomly yell out DIARRHEA!, which makes me squirm - the diarrhea itself, and the fact that my boyfriend is aware of it, and advertises it. Anyway, I thought I was winning the battle, but I think they've re-grouped, and it's time for round two. You know, it would be that bad, it that's all it was - I could get caught up on all my magazine reading, but because I can't seem to keep much in me, I feel tired all the time. Boo.

And so, enough about my bum, yeah?

This next part deserves it's own sub-heading:

Jenn Needs To Take a Media Relations Course - Part Two

Do we all remember my run-in with MacLeans Magazine? The local paper has a daily 'man on the street' opinion poll about local issues. They take your picture, and wrote what you said under your picture. Everytime I read it, I think 'those people are idiots'.

And so, I joined the ranks.

The WORST part about all this is that they asked me a question in which I should have, nay do have an opinion about, but they never really gave me enough time to answer properly (or, depending on how you spin it, I can't think well on my feet). Nevertheless, the question was:

Are you worried about the threat of a teachers strike?

My answer?

"No, I don't go to school."

Could I be anymore insensitive and self-absorbed? Most of my friends are (or were) teachers! I used to work in the school systems! What's wrong with me? What I actually wanted to say was (and thankfully thought better of) was "Yes, there will be too many teenagers in the mall".
Ha.

The picture was actually pretty good, though, so I'll probably scan it in and post it. And that would make... 4 pictures of myself on my blog in a month?

Sure, I'm not self-absorbed......

Nothing improves your self esteem as much as modelling.

Transformation part deux was completed this afternoon, and Collin was so impressed with himself (and me, ahem), then he got me to model some pictures for him to put on their website, so, instead of taking a pic with my webcam, I'll wait for him to email the pics he took. I am one gahgeous biatch.

Also, nothing is as fun as having a head massage while talking about wine enemas with your non-gay hairstylist. We also conceived of the idea of zero-gravity space-porn. The first title will be Deep Throat Space Nine.

Where have I been?

Actually, I've been working. UW (I know, I know) called last week, and I've been working there since last Wednesday. I have actually been doing work, so not much time for blogging. I know, it's not an excuse, but I know you'll forgive me, right?

Thank you.

The last little while has been mildly eventful. Last weekend was a weekend in Halifax with some friends, and a whole bus full of old people. I was sick (thanks, Liser), but we nevertheless managed to entertain ourselves, and annoy the hell out of those around us. We thought it would be a hoot if, at 7:30am, we would sign anything we could in falsetto. Yes. The bus-mates from hell. Three house later, we arrived in Halifax. We waste most our money on the slots, then we got Blackjack lessons, with a overly-tanned, gold wearing Newf. Our instruction was a bit clueless as to why he was there, and started every second sentence with "I wouldn't be telling you this, but...". We all did fairly well on blackjack. I won back most of the money I spent on the day, which is good because, well, it was my EI check. Ha. Well, $40 of it, anyway.

So, today has been my first day 'off' since working last week. I forgot how nice it is to work - rather, getting out of the house, and doing something purposeful all day. Being a bum at home all day has it's merits, but after about a week, every part of your being begins to atrophy, and you just lose your will to do anything important. I think it has been better for the current living stituation, too. I can probably get along with MW more than anyone else, for that long of a time, 24/7, but there are times when we both cramp each others space and need to break out. Speaking of which, MW has gone home for a week or so, for an interview up north in his hometown. I hope, selfishly, he doesn't get it. That would, for lack of a better work, suck.

I got two surprises in the mail today. The greater of the two is a book called "A Mind of It's Own: A Cultural History of the Penis". Uhm, HELLO, it has pictures. Woo.